Have I Set My Heart on the Lord?

I wrote this on May 14th, 2009:

No Bargains with God  

This may sound strange, but in preparing to go to Haiti I felt the Lord wanted me to ask for something. I fumbled. I struggled. I thought it was arrogance making me want to ask for something. So I told myself I wouldn’t ask for anything.

Yet, I grew concerned. I recalled this passage:

"Ask the LORD your God for a sign, whether in the deepest depths or in the highest heights." But Ahaz said, "I will not ask; I will not put the LORD to the test."
Then Isaiah said, "Hear now, you house of David! Is it not enough to try the patience of men? Will you try the patience of my God also?
Isaiah 7:11-13 (NIV) 

If the Lord wanted me to ask then I needed to ask. So I asked the Lord for something very personal and close to my heart. And as the words passed my lips I knew I had asked for the wrong thing.  

I cannot say to the Lord give me personal safety then I’ll go to Haiti. I cannot say to the Lord give me a wife then I’ll go to Haiti. I cannot say to the Lord give me success then I’ll go to Haiti. He is the Master. I am the servant. He is the King. I am the subject. He says go. I go. He says come. I come. There is no bargaining with God. 

The Lord says go to Haiti. So I go to Haiti. It does not matter if I get sick or I am lonely or even if I die. The command has been given and it must be obeyed.
I asked for forgiveness. But I still felt I should ask for something. I didn’t know what to ask for. I was fearful. This time I prayed. And I prayed.  

In January I was reading the Psalms and I found it. What did I ask for?
One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.
Psalm 27:4 (NIV)

I didn't know why the Lord brought this to my mind this morning. But He did. So, I began to think about it.

It's still true.

The Lord is God. I am not. He knows what is best for me. He is to be obeyed. What I asked for is still my prayer.

Or was it?

I know the Lord had answered my request. He is faithful and just. But had I even remembered what I asked for? Unfortunately, no.

I had forgotten my goal. I had set my heart on something and I had let it slip away. The cares of this world had crept in and I was a slave to them once again.

Seeking the Lord and dwelling with Him is my goal. So when was the last time I prayed for strength to seek Him? When was the last time I made plans to bring myself closer to Him? When was the last time I rejoiced in obeying His Word? Do I crave to pray each day? Do I seek out His Word?

Or have I been seeking other things? Have let my fears and weaknesses run my life?

The Lord made it clear to me to I needed to focus again on seeking Him. And He brought this passage to mind:

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. ² Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. ³ For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. ⁴ When Christ, who is your^[a] life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

⁵ Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. ⁶ Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.^{[b] 7} You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. ⁸ But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. ⁹ Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices ¹⁰ and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. ¹¹ Here there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.

¹² Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. ¹³ Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. ¹⁴ And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

¹⁵ Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. ¹⁶ Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. ¹⁷ And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Colossians 3:1-17 (NIV)