My Third Trip to Haiti - Part 1

8-14-2008

I’m on a plane heading to Miami. I spent the night at Carl and Carole’s. Flying is an interesting thing. St. Louis looks so small and the layout looks entirely different. Clouds jut up forming cities. Cities in the clouds. The sheer red glint of the morning sun off of rivers and lakes is blinding.

I’m feeling a bit more apprehension on this trip. I don’t know why. Maybe because everything is becoming real. Too real. The next time I go to Haiti I will be staying and working. Why have I chosen this? Did I choose? Lord you have put this on my heart. You have taken hold of me. Let go only when you have accomplished your will. Why does my heart beat so fast? Why is my breath so short?

The world lies before me. So few roads I have traveled. So many times I have remained idle. So few risks I have taken. So many times I have shied away from real love.

I’m trying to remember the girls at the orphanage. Yet I can’t. It’s been thirteen months since I was in Haiti. How quickly the vision dims. The children seem almost abstract to me. Not like they are my daughters.

O Lord, remind me. Make me eager to see my daughters. Lord, help me see you on this trip. Help me put my trust in you. Whisper words to strengthen my spirit. Whisper: Courage. Whisper: Love.



Later--

I’m at the house. Finally. The sky broke forth in a torrent so I couldn’t go the roof. I sat in Miami from 10am to 5pm because of lightning. Only 3 or 4 hours late. Not too bad.

It took awhile to get through the airport. It’s always an experience. Guys swarm you wanting money but you just have to play it cool. One step into the house made it all worth it. I saw several of the girls. I loved them all again.

After I got to Miami I wanted to get into step with the Lord so I reflected on Psalm 84. When we finally took off I was seized by a feeling of apprehension. I kept imaging the wing of the plane ripping off and all of us plunging to a watery grave. I reflected on Psalm 3. Then I kept reading the Psalms. I spent a lot of time on Psalm 16.

Now after a meal of crackers and Easy Cheese I’m feeling some doubt. Everything crashes down on you here. Lord, I’m yours. Lord, your arm is a shield around me.