My First Trip To Haiti

1-11-07
I’m sitting on the roof of the orphanage in Haiti. It’s pitch black. I’m using a flashlight to write. Haiti hits you like a ton of bricks. The poverty is staggering. From the air it’s a mountainous wilderness. Port-au-Prince sits in a bowl or amphitheater. Skeletons of houses stretch for miles. Sail boats dotted the sun bronzed sea. The airport is under UN control. Brazilian troops man posts with machine guns. The city is a huge slum. The streets are lined with people who have nothing. Everything is in decay. Nothing seems new. All appears hopeless. The rich sit up on the mountain their lights only make the poor seem poorer. I’m ill at ease. I’m ashamed of myself. The girls swarmed us desiring love. O Lord help me love. Teach me your kindness. Show me your heart. Teach me to love like you do.

1-12-07
I’ve only been here about 24 hours and I already love one of the girls. Her name is Lovia. I would raise her as my daughter. She deserves a father and a mother so do they all. Today we did a number of things. I got up with the sun. I read some of Isaiah. I shot some video. We cleared some land. I learned how to use a machete. We went to Deli Mart. Four men with shotguns stand outside for security. UN vehicles all over. Then we played with the girls. The sunrise and the sunset were beautiful. Lord, come to these people. Heal this land. Heal them! Be strong! Be merciful! Lord, come in a mighty way. Be salvation to Haiti.



1-13-07
Today was good. Up early. We restacked broken desks. We cleaned out the shed. Then we went up to Petionville. It was incredible. The people, the culture, the market. I loved it. I bought a few statues. One is a warrior with a sword blowing a couch shell. I will put it next to my crocodile from PNG. I cannot control my thoughts for 10 minutes! Why can’t I forget myself and love others? Lord, open my eyes to your will. Lord, be kind. Lord, be mighty. Lord, show me how to serve. Lord, guide me in the day and protect me in the night.

1-14-07
Today was church. It was moving yet I didn’t understand a word. I was thinking about culture and people. It is amazing how different we are yet how similar we are. The church is a wooden lean-to with a tin roof. But the church is in the hearts of the people not some building. I spent two or more hours playing with the girls. I love them all. Am I going to be changed by this trip? Or will I stay the same? Will I harden my heart to all the need in this world? Lord, change me! Even if I don’t want to! Change me! Allow me to concentrate on you. Lord, change me!

1-15-07
We went to the beach today. It was incredible. The water was beautiful. I found some rocks and shells. I stared at the sea for hours. Such beauty, such poverty! We drove through areas that looked like war zones. Well, some of them are war zones I guess. How do I describe the poverty? How to I tell of what I’ve seen? Lord, give me words. Give me insight. Lord, be my guide. Lord, help me. Lord, teach me what I need to know. Show me. Teach me how to love. Lord, change me. Show me how to change. Change me. Help me to live, O Lord. Change me! Lord, I need to change! Change me! I praise you, my Creator!

1-16-07
Today we went to Tony’s. He’s a crazy monk that helps handicapped and dying children. I can’t describe the children at his place. He asked for a volunteer to help him change a bandage on a little baby who’s covered in sores. I must admit that I was afraid so I didn’t volunteer. I didn’t think about the Lord or about helping a sick child. I thought about not getting germs. Why I am I so selfish? I don’t ever think about the Lord during the day. I think about myself, sex, food or fantasies. Lord, change me! Wake me up to the way you would have me be. Be my Father. Be my heart. Lord, be real. Show me how to be real. Give me the words and the heart to share what you’ve done for me. Help me share my life.



1-17-07
Our last full day. We’ve worked outside. I fixed the swing set. The day isn’t half over and I’m super tired. Lunch isn’t going to be served for hours. I’m going to play with the girls tonight. I’m going to give up my time. Lord, keep me calm and loving. Lord, teach me how to love these kids. Lord, give me strength and wisdom.

1-18-07
We just took of from Ft. Lauderdale. It was spectacular! The lights of the city were incredible. There were huge ships on the ocean. It was amazing. I didn’t want to leave this morning. Lovia was sad. She came up early this morning and we sat together for awhile. She went to school but she skipped out later and came back up. She cried. I cried. We talked and played a little while. Then she got busted and had to go back to school. The last I saw her was as she ran around the corner and disappeared. Then we left. I’m fighting back tears right now. I didn’t want to leave. I could have stayed. I knew this would happen. I knew before I ever left the States. How could I come to love her so much in so short of time? But it’s not only her what about Hosana, Landa and all the others? Lord, protect them. Keep them safe. Hold them and put your hand on them. Protect the innocent children. They are at your mercy.