My Third Trip to Haiti - Part 4

8-17-08

The sermon was delivered. Of course I changed what I was going to speak on the moment before I got up there. I spoke on Nehemiah. I prepared some remarks on several Psalms and then on the Sermon on the Mount, but I changed all of a sudden. I had been thinking about someone with a mission. A man with a task.



The old folks’ home still has me upset. I’m not thinking clearly. I need to find words for what I have seen. I’m not documenting correctly. Hmmm...

The interior of the building is dark. It’s even darker now because a break in the rain sends the tropical sun spilling down. In that building waits something. Something horrible. I can feel it. Decay creeps into my bones. In that building waits demons. At least for me. Illness. Strangers. Loneliness. Some of my greatest fears. I’m afraid I’ll get sick. I’m afraid someone will touch me. I’m afraid... I’m afraid... I’m being pushed to my limit. I must go beyond my limits then. I step to the door. Living mummies lie on beds or benches. Well, the women have beds. In the men’s building they lie on the concrete floors. Someone’s grandfather. I put on a mask. I try to be pleasant. Yet, my heart pounds. I want to flee. But I don’t.

Later - Today Lived like a potentate. Food is brought at appointed times. I lounge in the shade and read. All I lack is an army and some dancing girls.

I’m trying to pray. But I know I need to spend some time with the girls.



8-18-08

Did I spend time with the kids? Oh, yes. We had a sing-along until dusk last night.

This morning I met Rafael the architect. A very nice man. He lived in the States for 32 years and has returned to Haiti.

I gave some money to the church to use the next time they go to another old folks’ home. It cost them three hundred dollars US to feed those people. And it takes three months for them to raise it. These people need every cent they make yet they are willing to give freely.

O Lord, I’m so selfish! Help me.

Later - I need to plan. I must get a list together. I need to be in better shape. I need to figure out what I’ll be doing here. I’m so lazy. I must work. Help me, O Lord. Teach me your power. Reveal your majesty. Give me an open and willing heart. I need to be strong and determined. I must work. I must.