No Bargains with God

This may sound strange, but in preparing to go to Haiti I felt the Lord wanted me to ask for something. I fumbled. I struggled. I thought it was arrogance making me want to ask for something. So I told myself I wouldn’t ask for anything.

Yet, I grew concerned. I recalled this passage:

11 "Ask the LORD your God for a sign, whether in the deepest depths or in the highest heights."
12 But Ahaz said, "I will not ask; I will not put the LORD to the test."
13 Then Isaiah said, "Hear now, you house of David! Is it not enough to try the patience of men? Will you try the patience of my God also?
Isaiah 7:11-13 (NIV)

If the Lord wanted me to ask then I needed to ask. So I asked the Lord for something very personal and close to my heart. And as the words passed my lips I knew I had asked for the wrong thing.

I cannot say to the Lord give me personal safety then I’ll go to Haiti. I cannot say to the Lord give me a wife then I’ll go to Haiti. I cannot say to the Lord give me success then I’ll go to Haiti. He is the Master. I am the servant. He is the King. I am the subject. He says go. I go. He says come. I come. There is no bargaining with God.

The Lord says go to Haiti. So I go to Haiti. It does not matter if I get sick or I am lonely or even if I die. The command has been given and it must be obeyed.

I asked for forgiveness. But I still felt I should ask for something. I didn’t know what to ask for. I was fearful. This time I prayed. And I prayed.

In January I was reading the Psalms and I found it. What did I ask for?

4 One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.
Psalms 27:4 (NIV)